I once had a dream where a big tight-fisted hand came out of the ocean and once on land, it opened up and a naked extraordinary beautiful lady came out and walked the earth. The Lord said, Satan has it out for men and the wicked daughters have been released. I pray in Jesus name that the Lord helps us become vessels to show his glory.
In my second year of marriage, I was in serious turmoil because I thought my husband no longer found me attractive. After several weeks, I decided I am going to put on the tightest dress I had in my wardrobe to get him to notice me and possibly react when other men looked. That dress was all shock and awe because it hugged and revealed every part of my curves. I thought to myself, I am going to show him what he is missing. He saw me in the dress and said nothing. We went to church, “YES CHURCH”. I got all the attention I sought but not from the one I wanted the most. I came home and the Holy Spirit wasted no time in telling me how foolish that little venture of mine was. This was the conversation;
Chi: You saw what I was going through and said nothing.
Holy Spirit: Let us be honest here, did you do this to get back at your husband, or was it to satisfy your selfish need for approval? Now you got the attention, instead of my children paying attention to me, you robbed them of an important day. I have called you for a purpose and you are not allowed to ever wear such filth in my presence.
Chi: What do I do? I feel so lost. Not only did I gain weight from the pregnancy, but now I lost the pregnancy. I don’t feel attractive and my husband pays no attention. He just goes to work and back, the usual things.
Now, my husband was seated in the living room and reading a book while this conversation was going on. The Holy Spirit said, “look at him carefully”. I did and I saw the pain in his eyes.
Holy Spirit: Your husband is also suffering the pain of losing this child but in a different way. He was scared if he lay with you and you got pregnant, it would be another scary journey for him watching you cry in the hospital. You were focused on your own hurt and agenda, you failed to see his pain and walk with him.
Chi: Why did he let me leave the house with that outfit and he did nothing to acknowledge how good I looked?
Holy Spirit: Let’s be honest, did you think you looked good? Was your focus on me today or was it on you? When women begin to see themselves the way I see them, they would have no need for recognition by anyone. Yes, for the first time your husband paid no attention to what you wore, not because he doesn’t see your beauty but because he was focused on taking his pain to the cross. Let us both agree that you will not repeat this behavior again.
I was charged at that moment to remind women (single and married) that no matter what they go through, they have been given grace and strength. If you want to lose weight or change your wardrobe, please by all means do so but check your intentions and be true to God’s standards because you can deceive others but not the Spirit of God. You do not need to expose every part of you to show confidence or regain confidence. For selfish reasons, I made myself the focus rather than God. What you pay attention to is what you worship, and that is who you become.
You have been told by in-laws, boyfriends, husbands, parents, and whoever that you are not good enough. You have been vilified and called many names that imply ugly and not fit for society. Satan says you have to do something or else you will be left behind. I have been through all that and had fallen but praise to God who makes all things good in his time. Satan sees your true beauty and he will use any means to pervert your personality.
What is the biggest weapon a woman can use against a man? It’s her body. Women believers are acting like unbelievers. What fruits are you bearing and whose branch are you attached to? A woman sits and crosses her legs and you can see the entirety of her womanhood. The latest fashion is to let the top hang off to reveal much more than the cleavage and wear a long necklace to bring their attention to the chest. The gym is full of women who are not there to train but are there to hunt with every weapon they have. The see-through clothes are on sale to further the kingdom of darkness and its cause. What happens when all that attention you seek comes back to collect? What are you willing to put yourself through to meet up societal standards? We are more into ourselves than we are into God.
The men who crave your body more than your spirit will never be yours because you will always share them with other women. This is something you can learn now, don’t wait 20 years later to realize that you had wasted your time. The Bible tells us, married women, in 1 Corinthians 7:4 that you are to yield your body to your husband as commanded by the spirit of God. The Holy Spirit has handed you over to your spouse for his pleasure, yet you want to give the world a show.
Ok, I am a single lady so this does not apply to me? Yes, it does. 1 Corinthians 6:15 says “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not” How can you love God and have no fear or reverence for him? How can you love God and yet disobey him? Any woman that dresses immodestly has only one agenda, and that is recognition (let them see me, let them gush over me, let them forget their wives, let them think of me, let me show him what he is missing). 1 Corinthians 6:20 says “glorify God in your body and your spirit which are his”. You have been bought with the precious blood of Jesus; so do not live like Satan “the father of lies and deceit”. When you refuse to worship God with your body, you begin to solicit worship and self-recognition as Satan did. The more you refuse to praise God with your body; it turns into pride just like Satan.
1 Timothy 2:9 says “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God”. The last sentence shows how modesty goes hand in hand with worship. In my previous blog “Praise and Worship”, I mentioned that worship is a lifestyle. Everything you do right up to how you dress should indicate who you worship. Satan the deceiver tells the world; flaunt it if you have it, don’t listen to this crazy woman because she doesn’t have so she can’t flaunt it. The truth is that flaunting it makes you more insecure, and it will not only rob you of eternity in heaven but you will answer for the people you led astray (Matthew 18:6).
Women, please be mindful of the clothes you wear. There are ladies that no matter how much you tell them they are beautiful, it’s never enough. The world has to approve, social media has to approve, and your ride-or-die friends have to approve. Take off all the fake excesses, the revealing and tight clothes, and see what God has made. We cannot do anything about carnal (lustful) men, but we can certainly help men who are genuinely chasing after God. Husbands and men, please appreciate the God-given beauty of your women. Tell your women to dress respectfully, because you will have daughters someday. You may think there is nothing wrong with your wife dressing immodestly; you only deceive yourself and her because you make her a target for demons and other men. When I am unsure about my clothing, I ask my husband because I know he is honest to tell me when I look like I am selling body parts. Preserve your body, your dignity, and your spirit. You have to be happy with whom you are in Christ; otherwise, you will forever be chasing fake compliments and expectations of people.