Are you an entitled woman or favoured woman?

Women carry the seeds of the next generation. It is very important that women, whether married or single parents, impart wisdom to these seeds, our children. How can we impart wisdom to our children when we don’t even understand ourselves? I have received a clear message in this regard from the word of God and some personal experiences. I encourage you to truly open up your hearts, peel out the layers and invite the Holy Spirit to grant you understanding of what is being said. I also want to acknowledge that the struggles and pains women endure in life are real.

Most men in our society have failed to carry the responsibility as priests of their households, thus women have had to take up that mantle. Some have failed to answer the call of being a father and husband to such an extent that divorce and fatherless children are a common sight in society. However, I believe God has given women extraordinary grace, through Christ, to be better. Amen!!! I am grateful for the grace and favour of God who has shown me how much I needed His divine presence and the peace that comes with it in my daily life.

God’s purpose for woman is very clear in Genesis 2:18 (Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”). God foresaw the need for Adam to have a helpmate, one that through the grace of God will bring him peace, companionship and favour. I like the way Pastor Paul Enenche puts it; “God made Adam from sand (raw material) and woman from Adams ribs (refined material).” Why are women so desperate (or even content) to be raw instead of refined?

We are powerful spirit beings who possess a soul and a body. Your body (flesh) is needed to exist on earth but, through sin, it has become the greatest challenge of all. Romans 8:6-7 says “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so”.

Pleasing the flesh has led to the big word ENTITLEMENT. Oxford dictionary defines entitlement as the fact of having a right to something. In the context of human relationship, however, a person who feels entitlement or is under its influence is forced to defend it or enforce it. This mostly results in pride, quarrelsome behaviour, immodest behaviour, unbridled tongue, disregard or lack of respect (Proverbs 19:13; Proverbs 21:19) which do not promote relationship.

Entitlement always runs to rights, self-image, self-preservation and selfish desires, which has become the greatest instrument of the enemy in our present generation. I would like to remind women that your body is not your own, it has been bought and paid for with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, whether you believe it or not, so glorify God in your bodies (1 Cor 6:20). Entitlement brings pain because we enter business ventures, relationships, marriages, etc. without the wisdom of God.  James 4:1-12 shows the sad consequences of entitlement; “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’”

The societal laws and rights put in place to satisfy bodily passion and selfishness have robbed women of the earnest spirit that the Father has placed in them. I believe the Lord is calling us back to be refined just as he made us (graceful, peaceful, modest, composed, respectful and, yes, submissive).

FAVOUR is the undeniable presence of God in one’s life, where he shows approval and administers continuous graces. Grace cannot be obtained in or from the world because it is a gift of our loving Father to his righteous sons and daughter. We receive it freely, without guilt because Jesus has already paid the price. Favoured women carry certain characters;

  • Submission and humility: 1 Peter 3:1-2 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words but by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” Women hear the word ‘submissive’ and mistakenly think ‘foot mat for the man’. Men have also been found to make this mistake. In the context of 1 Peter 3, the word ‘submission’ means to support, endear, encourage and uplift your husband to fulfilling his calling on earth. I completely understand that women who have been submissive have still been taken for granted and mistreated, because my mother is one of them. One thing she always said was “the Lord is my vindicator, the lifter of my head and one who preserves my dignity”. You see, her husband did not appreciate her, but she has been blessed with two wonderful kids, the favour of her kinsmen and an indestructible life force from our master Jesus Amen!!!
  • Grace Wisdom: Seeking and listening to the words of God removes calamities from our lives (Matthew 6:33). The wisdom of this world is foolishness unto God (1 Cor 3:19). I understand that most women have been in abusive relationships and that is not God’s will for you. Grace came so that, through his wisdom, we can avert the darts of the evil one and boast not in ourselves but recognize that without him we are nothing (1 Cor 1:26-29).
  • Good counselor and noble teacher: Titus 2:3-5
  • Builds her home rather than tearing it down: (Proverbs 14:1)
  • Trustworthy: A favoured woman is trustworthy, respectful and careful with her speech. Now in comparison to this, an entitled woman is unreliable, as her only mission is to defend self, establish self and feed self which only leads to regrets and destruction. I come from a country where women’s hearts or opinions are taken for granted but because of the grace of Jesus, I learnt that it is not always about me. I am the steward of my body, my family etc. and on the last day I alone will give an account.
  • Modesty: I know that this a touchy subject for many but we have to ask, what are the motives for the way we present ourselves? Modesty covers a wide area from clothing to way of speaking and conduct. In 1 Timothy 2:9-15 “women dress moderately, appropriately, discreetly as those who revere and profess the name of our God“. The way a woman carries herself determines the company she keeps. I used to think my self-worth relied on how beautiful and intelligent I am but, as I spend time with the Lord, he has shown me that there is more to me than meets the eye. I have heard people insist “it doesn’t matter how I dress, there will always be perverts out there”. However, I point you to Philippians 2: 4 “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” We have to be mindful of the things we do and say because they echo throughout eternity. Luke 17:1-3 “Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.  It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves and one another’”.

Women I encourage us all to forsake the wisdom of this world, and look to Jesus who is grace made flesh for our redemption and perfect wisdom. This will happen when we start renewing our minds with the word of God as it says in Romans 12:1-2: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that, by testing you, may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

So, are you entitled or favoured? You decide!!!

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  1. Ikechukwu Okeke December 26, 2018 at 9:12 am

    Beautiful write-up packed with wisdom

    1. chioma hamilton December 27, 2018 at 9:28 am

      Thank you so much IK, we bless God.

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