A priest is in charge of leading and ensuring the spiritual growth of his followers or flock. Man was made from sand and that means he has raw talent, strength, strong roots and the ability to pronounce words that make changes. I declare that every man (single or married) reading this, will be blessed and endowed with Godly wisdom, strength, courage and the voice to represent their families in Jesus name, Amen. The bible already tells us that our greatest high priest is Jesus Christ (Hebrews 4:14-16). He is our only King, our sinless sacrifice and only mediator. Jesus understands our weaknesses and that is why any man called to become the head of a family (priest), must look to Jesus as a role model. Since this calling is not for everyone, I appeal to unmarried men to refrain from bringing children into this world. Our world is lacking in father figures and I believe this is the reason why children grow up resentful, angry, rebellious, confused and unable to identify who they are.
In the book of genesis, Adam failed to lead and he blamed his failure on the woman that was given to him (Genesis 3:12). Notice how God spoke to Adam first about the disobedience because he is the head and should bear the responsibility (Genesis 3:9). We do not need men to relinquish their God given roles for women to take up. This does not mean that women are not capable of taking care of the household, especially in the case of single mothers and widows but this will move them away from their God given purposes, which are to nurture the seeds and make the home. A spiritually weak man creates a window of opportunity for the enemy to infiltrate the home.
What does spirituality have to do with leading the house? Brethren, man is first and foremost a spirit being, who then possess a soul and a body. Your spirit is the part that communicates with God, and when your spirit fails to get wisdom from the God, your household is already doomed. Satan understands that marriage is the most powerful ministry and love covenant ever made by God, and out of this ministry will emerge men and women with great potentials.
Children are meant to be had under the umbrella of marriage because God has anointed the man and woman to become stewards of these children. Yet, we find men donating their sperms for money and women seeking to accept these sperms, without knowing the spiritual foundation of the donors. Men, you are not just sperm donors, you all have a spiritual connection with your seeds. These new age ideas are straight from the pit of hell because the enemy perverts everything that has been created by God. Children are by nature bonded to their mothers, but there is the desire in a child to identify, follow, witness kingdom authority and excellence in their lives, which is where the father comes in.
In Nigeria, when an elderly person asks your name, they follow up by asking who your father is. This means that the aura, character or the name a child bares must be connected to a man and his lineage. Women, please do not deny your children the right to know who their father is, no matter how irresponsible that man was. This will allow your child to truly understand who they are, the reason for certain struggles in their lives and by God’s grace choose to become better than their fathers.
The media had made a caricature of fathers as people who are just present but do not play any active role in the family. How are we comfortable with this? A father is called to love his family just as Christ loves the church, so christians should begin to ask the Lord for grace upon fathers. I will highlight some important characters the priest of the household must possess;
- Godly wisdom: The foundation of every father is first and foremost love and wisdom of God. Whether you are heading a ministry or household, wisdom is vital as this will provide a perfect heritage for your children and increase their intimacy with God (Deuteronomy 6:5-7; 2 Chronicles 1:10).
- Protects and prays for his family: The father is the first line of defence against any spiritual attacks. It is not surprising that the enemy’s first target is the head of the house/ministry because if the priest of the house is compromised in anyway, they (demons) have succeeded in their attacks. I didn’t have a resident/present father growing up but I am what I am today by the special grace of God, who empowered my mother to take up the mantle of protection and prayer. I happened to meet a father of exemplary qualities in South Africa. I asked why his kids never get sick and seldom get flu. He answered me with these words “The Lord protects his own and by his grace, I can stand for my children because the enemy has to go through me to get to them”. This tells me he continuously recognizes the presence of God in his daily life to which the Lord has accrued many benefits (Psalm 91).
- Raising children: It is God’s will that children are raised properly and guided through life according to the word of God. You cannot afford to compromise when it comes to your children, because they are excellent record keepers (Proverbs 23:13; Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:6). Do not leave the raising of your children to other people because what you don’t teach them, other sources (internet and bad company) will. Do not raise children by provoking them to wrath, rather with a loving expression through chastisement, acknowledgement and appreciation (Colossians 3:21). Commend your children often and you will build their confidence. Children raised by Godly men are never confused about who they are in life. Unless the spirit of God intervenes, an absent or unbelieving father promotes the spirit of confusion in their children and they begin to exhibit ungodly characters. These characters in many occasions come in the form of gender identity problems (gender change and same sex attraction). This current generation is suffering from lack of identity, and the Lord is calling on the church to speak the word of God as it is, and not twist it in order to fit in or sound politically correct.
- Honour your marriage: Your marital bed must be honoured and undefiled, because God is not pleased with adultery (Hebrew 13:4-5). Adultery is one the sins that lead to death, as it is sin against one’s own body (1Corinthians 6:18-20). The way a man acts towards his wife is sure to affect the children, and if your actions are that of honour and upliftement, it creates a safe environment for them (Ephesians 5:25-33; Col 3:19). When you don’t love your wives, your prayers are hindered and the result is calamity (1 Peter3:7). Some men ask questions like why are things not going my way? What have I done to God that he allowed this to happen? Why did I lose that 10 million rand contract? Why are my kids not making it in school? The answer to those prayers lies in keeping your marital bed holy. I highly suggest every man to read Malachi 2:13-16.
- Set good examples: Husbands must show accountability for things, as you cannot expect accountability from your wife or children, when it is lacking in you. 1Timothy 3:2-5 tells us that the priest of the house must be respectable, peaceful, not addicted to wine, hospitable, qualified teacher, overall manager, not a lover of money, and must be able to keep his children under control with all dignity. Verse 5 of this Chapter asks “how can a man take care of the church, if he cannot rule his own household”? I believe this speaks to fathers who are in ministry or are called to minister. I believe that no matter what responsibilities you have, your family comes first. There is a proverb in Igbo language that says “a man cannot have both eyes open and watch his house catch fire”.
- Provide for family: 1Timothy 5:8 says “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, especially their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. This is more spiritual than it is about money. My father is a typical example because he failed to provide for his family, and focused more on pleasing outsiders for the praise. Overtime, this begun to taint his spirit and his spiritual life declined. I can relate this to Mathew 6:21 that say “wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be”. Marriage was designed to be God’s heaven on earth for us, so if your treasures lay with worldly pleasures, your heart follows suite.
- Excellent communicator: Children are able to relate to their fathers, and discuss their inner feelings when he has shown his ability to calmly listen to them without judgement. The bible says in James 1:19 “man ought to be swift to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger”.
The word of God never said that being the head of the household will be easy but we have the Holy Spirit to empower and equip fathers and fathers to be. So seek the Holy Spirit and the wisdom that comes with him. May the Lord bless his word in Jesus name. Amen.