How to be a Godly Woman in Marriage

I do not speak on this topic as an authority on being Godly but as a witness to what Christ has done for us. Just like everyone else, I am still walking this journey and the race is never finished till I close my eyes from this world. I will also make it clear that no one can attain perfection except through Christ. We are all conceived in sin because of man’s failure but Jesus came to give us life and to bring us closer to God (Psalm 51:5; Romans 5:12-17). So if anyone is to maintain what Jesus has purchased for us on Calvary, they are to continuously renew their minds with the word of God (Romans 12:1-2). Now I will like to say that a good woman is not the same as a Godly woman. How do you mean? A good woman is one who carries with her values she learnt at home and applies it to her life or in her family. We are human and flawed, so based on our environment and influences, our definition of good are always subjective. On the other hand, a Godly woman is one who breathes and lives the word of God (her standard of living is only based on what God says).

Now I will be real with you and tell you about my own experience in this journey of being a Godly woman. I watched my mum all my life and I can honestly say that she is a Godly woman. I will be more than honored to be the woman she is. I listened to sermons about Godly women and I realized that being Godly is not something you are born with, it is a gift that is given once you begin a relationship with Christ. As I continued to search the scriptures about Godly women, I stumbled on the story of Ruth. Ruth was a phenomenal woman from Moab and a daughter in law to Elimelech and Naomi the Israelite family, who settled in Moab due to famine in Israel. The story of Ruth and Boaz in the bible intrigued me, so I began to seek the face of God time after time. Ruth found favor in the eyes of Boaz (Ruth 2:13) and I asked myself, what does it mean to say she found favor? What did she do in life that brought her favor?

Favor is a gift that God releases upon those who love him in order to bring them blessings.  Now it was clear that the most important thing in my life was to please the almighty, and favor will always follow (Mathew 6:33). This favor is the reason a foreign woman like Ruth became part of the lineage of David and subsequently, the Messiah. Many have raised questions like; who is a Godly woman? How will I know when I meet her? What does it mean to be a Godly woman? At first glance, no one could see that Ruth was favored and Godly, but her character showed us who she was (Mathew 7:15-20).  So, in order to answer the questions above, let us look at the scripture to outline the characters of a Godly woman in no particular order.

Characters of a Godly woman

  • She honors and fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:26-31; Titus 2:3-5): Just like Ruth and Sarah, women are to have a reverent fear of God. This is the foundation of every Godly woman and this brings blessings and favor into her family (Mathew 6:33-34). You will be endowed with self-control, chastity, and grace to teach young ones how to raise their own families in the future.
  • She is her husband’s pride and joy: Your husband trusts you and he brags about you anywhere he goes. He can only do that because you are good to him, you make him as comfortable as possible when he is around you. Making him comfortable is not always about sex, it’s the little things like giving him a kiss when he gets home from work, pouring him a glass of cold water, feeding him and don’t bombard him with your troubles of the day until he has had time to catch his breath. Well, I learnt the hard way after about three sessions of an hour long conversation (Proverbs 12:4; Proverbs 31:10-31).
  • She is the home maker (Proverbs 31:26-31): This is the point where eyebrows start raising. Ladies, it is not a bad thing to be a home maker because God built us for this. Home making is not always about slaving away in a kitchen but mostly about creating a welcoming or pleasant environment for your family to come home to. We all have weaknesses and strengths, so improve on your weakness and further nurture your strengths.
  • She brings favor to her husband (Proverbs 19:14; Proverbs 31:23; 1 Peter 3:7): It is important for a woman to know that she is a blessing to her husband. This is only possible when she surrenders to Christ. This is why when your husband finds you; he has received favor from God according to Proverbs 18:22. I hear men professing that ever since they got married, things have improved in their lives physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually. I pray that this is the portion of every married woman who is seeking the Lord diligently.
  • She must submit to her husband: I must admit that I am a stubborn person by nature. However, the line is drawn when it comes to my husband as the leader of the house. The problem we have as women is that our flesh wants to fight all the time because we feel that our husbands are taking things from us.  I recognize that most women like my mother, have been taken for granted and abused but the Lord always has a way of fighting for women. So, I have come to realize that submitting to my husband has nothing to do with my husband’s perfection or how I feel but because I am resting/trusting in God. We were made from the man’s ribs, so who is more suited to support him than you. God created you as his helpmate (Genesis 2:18; 1 Corinthians 11:9), his partner and someone he can always rely on. Ladies, we are called to please God, and submitting to our husbands is a clear instruction (Ephesians 5:22-24). Disobeying God in this regard demonstrates our reliance on the flesh like Eve did in the garden, and we can all see where that got us.

Although the world will give you its view of what submission should be, It is important that we chose to do things God’s way. Trusting God in this way is why Sarah was so bold to call her husband “lord”, not out of fear or worship but as an acknowledgment of authority. Now, I am not saying that your opinions in marriage should not matter, especially if you see your husband is about to make mistakes but please remember to be gracious when you speak (Proverbs 11:16). So what if he does not value my opinion? This is where you win him over by your conduct (1 Peter 3:1-6). Be calm, consult him on everything and do not exercise authority over your husband in anyway. Why? Well, simply because Adam was made first and Eve was the one who was deceived (1 Timothy 2:11-14). Exercising authority over your husband only pushes him away and he cannot hold you in high regard.

  • Her inner beauty is her strength (Proverbs 31:17; 1 Peter 3:1-6): I have heard many men give an example of what their ideal woman should look like. It is all well and good but please make sure you understand her inner beauty, which is a gift bestowed on women who love the Lord. A woman who spends time with God is of good conduct and will never run dry of supplies because her cup will always overflow. Ladies, you may be courted because you are beautiful but please bear in mind that when it comes to marriage, a man who loves the Lord or at least understands what marriage is will desire much more than the outward beauty. We can never cheat old age, so a Godly woman will never worry about her outer beauty fading because she possesses the substance with which women of old adorned themselves (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:5).Remember I said earlier that this is a journey, and the different personalities are as a result of life’s circumstances. The good news is that there is room for growth and the Lord has clearly shown us what qualities we should have; generosity (Proverbs 31:20), modesty, gracious (Proverbs 11:16), sober minded, humble (Philippians 2:3), gentle and quiet spirit, quick to forgive (Colossians 3: 12-13) and not quarrelsome (Proverbs 21: 19; Proverbs 25:24).
  • She holds her home together (Proverbs 14:1): Humility is an important quality to have if we are to keep our homes together. Great is a Godly woman because she understands what it means to be a servant (Mathew 20:27-28). Most times, we will have to put away our own personal interests in order to serve our family (Philippians 2:3-5). Godly women intercede and pray for their families, they lend a listening ear to husband and children. Do not engage in unnecessary fights or conflicts because this does not please the Lord (Proverbs 15:18; Colossians 3:7-9). I salute women who have given up their career pursuits to look after their kids. I respect women who have had to provide for the family when their husbands lost their jobs, without constantly bragging or rubbing it in his face. We are farmers, our homes are like vineyards (Proverbs 31:16) and if we sow and nurture good seeds, we will reap favor and blessings from God.
  • She holds her marriage in high honor (Hebrews 13:4): Your marital bed must be undefiled and untainted by anything from the outside. Godly women understand that marriage is a covenant and not a contract. The Lord has declared that your desire shall always be for your husband and he will rule over you (Genesis 3:16). No matter the situation you face in marriage, please refrain from yielding to worldly instincts so that your blessings are not hindered.
  • She will be surely blessed with the fruit of the womb:  Psalm 127:3 says children will be her heritage. I asked the Holy Spirit for understanding in this regard because I know that most unmarried or unsaved women have children. Then I was directed to that word heritage,which means allotted portion or blessing. Our heavenly father ensures his obedient daughters receive children as blessings and not curses.This is not a call for Godly women to panic when they do not get pregnant. Remember patience is key here, and many have received curses in the form of children because they decided to “help God” or consult other sources. Be still and know that at the appointed time, his promises shall surely come to pass (Genesis 17:21; Genesis 18:14; Genesis 21:2; Habakkuk 2:3).

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  1. Christopher March 6, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Beautiful. I must admit my friend you are gifted when it comes to writing. Science was never for you. Keep educating and contributing to our growth

    1. chioma hamilton March 11, 2019 at 8:23 am

      Thanks so much Chris, much appreciated my friend. May God bless you continuously.

  2. Udal March 6, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    Hey love. May Gods richest and highest favor pour out upon your life. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and His plans for you are good and perfect♡. I love you my darling♡.

    1. chioma hamilton March 11, 2019 at 8:24 am

      Amen, I declare the same over you sis. I love you too dear:)

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