Who should I not tolerate in marriage?

I think one of the hardest things about marriage is getting accustomed to the fact that it is no longer just about you. When marriage is done the right way (God’s way), it can be heaven on earth but when done the wrong way (worldly way); it can be hell on earth. There are so many articles and messages on how to date, who to marry, what to do in marriage and what not to tolerate. What about who not to tolerate or allow into your marriage?

“Do not tolerate a Jezebel or Ahab spirit”.

This is a hectic statement considering that the couple Jezebel and Ahab were actual people who existed many years ago according to the Bible (1 Kings 16:31). The Jezebel and Ahab spirits are the demonic (spirits that answer to Satan) manifestations (display) of the evil lives lived by the actual persons. A marriage between Ahab and Jezebel is devoid of peace and as some have said “A match made in hell”. To understand this horrible couple, it is important to read the book of Kings (1 and 2) in the bible. These two people reflected Satan’s image so much that he uses their spirits today to further his cause on earth (deceive and manipulate believers) (Revelation 2:20-23).

If there is any area in life that must be surrounded by peace is in marriage. My prayer is that in your journey to attain peace, this message empowers you with the knowledge to identify Satan’s tactics. Why is this important? My friends, if you do not know the root cause of a problem, you cannot begin to solve it. Many people grew up with parents or step-parents who neglected them, verbally or sexually abused and controlled them. Eventually, these hurts attract spirits of Jezebel and Ahab who convince them not to trust anyone, to stay timid and weak, to control others or be controlled, avoid confrontation or discussing important matters, remain fearful of being rejected, and retain a prideful spirit. I for one have to be watchful and alert because I have an issue with being talked down to or be controlled because of my father. The Lord has really been speaking to my heart and dealing with me on this issue and I believe he is speaking to you today.  

Divorce is very common in our society and many times, the reason for the divorce is something that could have been solved easily. In light of this, I actually believe one should not wait until they are married to know about Jezebel and Ahab spirits. Evangelist John Ramirez once said that “the person you are dating early in your relationship is only a representative because the real person is hidden underneath”. It is up to you how long you want to date but please ensure you are both spending time in prayers, build your relationship on Christ and stay away from each other’s beds. This may be difficult for most people considering how much Satan has influenced our minds. This is very important if you spend time exploring each other in bed before marriage; you will not identify possible red flags that indicate the presence of the Jezebel or Ahab spirit in each other. Look into most marriages and you will find a combination of Ahab and Jezebel spirits. This demonic duo has broken many marriages, families, societies, preachers, and evangelists (people called to preach the word of God).

Why did I come up with this message? Satan is a master manipulator, and the negative thoughts that you and I have are carefully implanted by him. The bible says we must be alert (1 Peter 5:8; Romans 16:17; Matthew 26:41) because Satan will make you believe those thoughts were yours. Some time ago, my husband scheduled a meeting with a colleague of his on a weekend. We both had a hectic week, so we made plans to relax over that weekend. The problem was that he forgot about the meeting until late Friday night. He loves to keep his promises, so he moved our plans forward in order to make sure he honored that meeting. I always loved that about my husband but this time I was not happy because my plans for the weekend was about to be interrupted. Now, when you entertain sin or negative emotions, in my case anger, you give demons legal rights or permission (entry point or portal) over you.

My husband went to the meeting on Saturday and came back. I began to tell him the Lord spoke to my heart to let his people know about the Jezebel and Ahab spirits that are out to ruin marriages. My husband was confused and he said: “Is this related to what happened this morning”. He reminded me of the subtle but weird smirk I had on my face while attempting to manipulate him out of that meeting. He said his spirit was disturbed and the only words he said in response was “Chi stop this now” and I immediately continued with my chores as though nothing happened. My husband realized that I was not the one speaking because until he mentioned it, I could not recall doing that. Have you ever found yourself saying or doing things you wouldn’t normally do? It became clear to us why God spoke to me about Jezebel because that was the spirit that had influenced me. Friends, I cannot begin to explain to you the revelations that began to surface over the next 2 hours of our discussion and meditation.

So what am I saying? If your marriage is not built on Christ, you will never identify this demonic duo. I must say at this point that although Ahab and Jezebel were male and female respectively, their manifested spirits have no gender so they can influence or possess anyone. This is a very vast topic but for now, I will outline the traits of these spirits so that you can identify and deny them access into your marriage.

The Jezebel spirit

The Jezebel spirit;

  1. Exhibits control over man through lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life (Sexual immorality). In Revelation 2:20 Jesus writes to the church of Thyatira saying “Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching, she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols”.
  2. Represents most women in our time who engage in witchcraft and narcissism (excessive admiration or obsession of ones’ appearance). Many times, the people with this spirit believe they are serving God but their true identity lies in self-worship and affirmation. They give their own interpretation of the bible to suit their desires.
  3. Hates, emasculates, promotes distrust of men and strips them of their God-given authority.
  4. Craves power and authority.
  5. Distorts your thoughts about God so that you lose your only way to repentance.
  6. Gives a false appearance of repentance and loyalty and attacks when your guard is down or until you disagree with it.
  7. Exhibits pride and rebellion when corrected.
  8. Extremely loyal only if it fits into its plans.
  9. Makes your life miserable until you give it what it wants (demanding).
  10. When challenged, it lies and twists the truth in order to make another ineffective (very insecure).
  11. Has an unrealistic expectation of others. It murmurs, complains, does not take advice, perceives itself to be more superior to others and criticizes a lot (asserts dominance).
  12. Uses fear to paralyze and strip a believer of their anointing and authority (intimidation).
  13. Selfish, manipulative, holds on to past offenses, plants seeds of discord and only wants things done its way. Beware of the flattery, fake prophetic sayings, pleasant words and seducing tears. It will use anyone or anything to achieve its goal. This spirit has succeeded in turning people away from their families and from anyone who will speak light into their lives.
  14. Loves to provoke anger, enjoys starting arguments, jealous, restless mind and anxious.
  15. Has hatred towards God and destroys anyone who serves him.

The Ahab spirit

This spirit;

  1. Is weak in spiritual direction and leadership. Thus, avoids giving directions and tolerates bad behavior.
  2. Is emasculated and enslaved to their women
  3. Hates confrontation and avoids responsibilities.
  4. Wants to please everyone because they fear abandonment.
  5. Displeases God because he or she overlooks evil.
  6. Is afraid of rejection and therefore takes the blame for everything.
  7. Is always negative and believes what people say about him or her. Always believes they are a failure and are unable to achieve anything good in life.
  8. Abdicates his or her God-given authority and power in order to seek validation and acceptance.
  9. Is effeminate, materialistic and promiscuous.

These spirits can only be defeated when we truly repent and turn from prideful sin and forgive past hurts and offenses. When we identify and deny access to these spirits, we will find that marriages are healed and restored. Spouses will stop competing and begin to see each other the way God does. It is time to take back your marriage, your family and your peace. Let us choose today to not tolerate these spirits either in ourselves or in others, choose to honor and obey God.

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